So lately in my world which is in my mind, because it spins rapidly on a constant. Ive had a lot going on, let me say I value my friendships very much, I love my few friends dearly, but there are some ways where I feel im not that good of a friend. A good friend of mine loss her father recently and I thought about her often, calling to check on her, texting her, praying for her and her family and even random I love you's.
But the difficult part comes with the funeral services. I just cannot do it. Of course no one likes to attend them but I get literally sick when the date comes. Sorry its just me, im me all day long and ill be the best person I can be, im willing to support my loved ones unconditionally, well almost.
As if thats not enough on my mind lately, ive been having these episodes where my heart races, I start to sweat, I get a real nervous feeling and I feel faint. Finally I saw the doctor, I have a list of tests to take I potentially have hypertension ( thanks mom). I told the doctor every since I turned 29 everything has went downhill, she laughed and said No when u have kids everything goes downhill. She was clearly talking about her boobs. Not mine. Anyway as resistant as I am I have to get fit, lose weight and eat better, so today is the first day. I vow to myself to exercise atleast 30 minutes a day and take better care of me :(
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