Smarter than the devil

All I want for my Birthday is a night on the town. My life has been so crazy lately, tomorrow I could actually drop my kids off at a sitter, grab me something to eat, and come home and sleep for hours.

The devil has been trying to get me lately, I won't let him. He stopped my car from running, I found a way, he tried to interfere with me having a big interview, we found the director and had the interview anyway, the devil made my day a day from hell today, but guess what, i didn't lose my cool. I know today was a test, because the day was so fucked up at work the dumbest shit was happening it was unbelievable and I know I was being watched and tested. I passed. I passed because I didn't curse nobody out, I didn't scream, i didn't leave, i did not cry. I was in a trance all day. I'm starting to second guess my decision to apply for the management position. Sure it's moving up the career ladder, but it might be moving down the mental sanity ladder. I need my sanity, we all need me to be sane.

I have a lot of thinking to do this weekend, not worrying, just putting some things in prospective. But first tomorrow I need to celebrate with my loved ones for my birthday. not sure what i want to do yet, yall know i'm a procrastinator. It'll be a party wherever I am.

If I haven't said it lately,
Keep a peaceful mind, it's a life saver
yours and theres

It's Cold

Earlier tonight I asked Amarian to check the thermostat to see if it was on at least 74 degrees, because in this house 74 degrees is like 80 degrees. I was chilly. So he did it, so I expected to be all snuggly warm in just a few minutes. I stayed up for a while and I never noticed I kept clinching my blankets or my nose was cold.  I'll just give it time.......................

So it's now 4 am and I just can't take it anymore, It's COLD!!! I jump up out of the cold bed. I demanded myself to get up and check this damn thermostat out myself. Oh Lawd!!!! The boy turned it completely off. I was already cold when I got up but I instantly got colder looking at the thermostat turned all the way left.

I  felt so bad, what a bad mother I am, not to notice my children shivering and in fetal positions sleeping, trying to grasp heat from anywhere. I didn't  notice Kami was actually under the comforter and not sprawled out on top of the covers. I didn't even notice Amarian was wrapped in his comforter like a pig in a blanket. Wow, I must have been sleeping pretty darn good to be so cold.

 I can't sleep cold, So I'm now in my robe, a blanket, my boots and my hair bonnet. It's almost 6 am and i'm awake on a saturday morning. FML

Sexy Weekend

I must say this was a sexy weekend for me. Saturday I got up early and had breakfast with Carrie, we laughed and talked shit about the crazy kids and the school system.


Then we left and went down the street to a Sex toy store….. Ok it was my idea, but when I first walked in I felt like I made the wrong impulsive decision this time. My heart started racing and I was giggly, that was only my second time being in a sex store. Lame? Yeah I know. And I have two kids one who is just 2, right….

I think the bondage stuff is what made me nervous, seeing whips, chains and paddles, and leather masks wasn’t my idea of sexy fun, I felt like maybe we were going to be locked down and forced to perform some of the shit I saw on those dvd covers. Seeing a dick in a box on a shelf was kind of mind blowing, they look so real, its like I’m sure there are 20 to 30 dickless men in the back somewhere. Everything looks SO REAL!!!!!

I guess as I strolled around the store I felt more comfortable once I saw normal stuff, like lotions, oils, candles, bath products, the occasional lube and even some oral sex pop rocks, OMG!!!

Even though I go on and off my celibacy born again kicks, I wanted to buy something so bad. So I did, I’ll keep that to myself and the person who was with me. Lmao

My night was pretty much in the same category as my morning, for the second time in my life I went to a strip show. I thought I knew what to expect. But that didn’t stop my eyes from bulging out when scorpion the 6’4, 220lb stripper came out gyrating and carrying on. That’s when I got up and put a little bit in his briefs. 

That was the second time that night my feet touched the stage, the first time I was summoned by the announcer, he saw me earlier and he thought I was cute so he wanted to see if ‘taste like Candi’ was in the building. I let him look for me for a min. then I did the church lady one finger, I’m right here, now don’t embarrass me and he made me walk to him, on the stage. Why? Just to talk shit and watch me walk to him and even better when I walked back to my seat. Manish men ;)

Overall the night was good, the day actually was great. But no matter how much sexy, raunchy, stuff you see and do in one day not all nights end with a ‘Happy ending’ Wink Wink

Cupid's Grabbing My Hand

When I describe the man of my dreams, I would say tall, dark, handsome, good looking, nice teeth, clean shoes, sexy smile, a little rough around the edges, someone who can TRY to tame me. Someone I can have fun with, laugh with, be silly with, someone who simply adores me, silly, corny, mean, sassy, non dancing and all. Flaws and all.

I want a man that has children already, cause mama’s oven is off. A supportive man. Someone I can call anytime and he’ll answer, 3 am I’ve had a nightmare, he answers. 9 am I’m happy as ever and I just want to share a corny joke, he listens. A buddy, confidante, partner, a friend, soul mate, my rock. A hardworking man, smart, independent, honest man.

Sure, I want all those things from him and I will make it a mission to do the same for him. I can’t see myself dealing with any games, cheating, lieing, or playing deceitful games. It’s a scary world out there and sometimes it’s easier to stay single, or non attached than to take a chance on getting my feelings hurt. Let down, pissed off.

 

Well I met a guy. (Smiling) he is tall, dark, handsome, fine as ever, nice teeth, clean shoes, he already has children, independent, smart, rough around the edges, a hard working black man. We’re going on a date this weekend and I can’t wait.