So i've learned not to get too happy and excited with life because when and if something bad happens it's the biggest shock and disappointment to the soul. So I try to stay kinda mellow about even the things someone else would be jumping up and down about, I can and sometimes do get really excited but sooner than later i'll catch myself and bring it back down a notch.
So anyway online school has been going good, I actually love it, i've taken a few tests and have had to study hard. I'm enjoying it. Mentally I feel good, homelife is cool, money is right, (for right now) family is good. Kami is learning new things everyday, more words like "yeah, purse, legs, see you later" they sound so cute. I even enrolled Amarian in baseball........
I'll tell you, I really had to check myself a few days ago. I was so excited for him to start baseball you would've thought he was going to the MLB, I could just picture him in the uniform looking soo cute especially with his cute baseball player butt, I admitted to everybody. "yeah i'm more excited than him, so what!!!
This is his first week of practice, and they of course play catch and so on. I usually let Kami play around the park if it's warm and then we go sit in the car for two hours. Yesterday we were sitting in the car Kami, Jadyn and me, and I was talking to another parent and i'll ocassionally glance at Amarian. On one of my glances I saw the other boy throw the ball, then I saw it go towards Amarian and he fell down to the grass. It took a minute for it to register that he just got hit with the ball, so I said it out loud. "he just got hit with the ball" I guess it took me to hear myself say it aloud cause the next thing I know I was running full speed across the baseball field. I heard the mother I was conversating with say "don't go over there you'll make him cry"
What??? Lady please, she obviously don't know me. Thats my son. One of the coaches was talking to him telling him to be calm and let's just go get some ice, his face was swelling by the second, we got him up and I said we'll just go home and get him some ice. We got in the car and he balled. My heart was already in my shoes, my baby just go hit in the FACE with a fucking baseball, his little bones, his delicate head, my child, I felt so hurt because it wasn't a little scratch I could put a bandaid on and tell him "ok man up" No he was black and blue.
I held it together though, I truly did, but inside I was balling with him. I explained to him and myself that in sports there is a chance you will get injured, you have to cry, heal and do it again. Don't give up!!! I let him take a break today from practice but damnit he'll be back out there tomorrow.
A little swollen, black and blue but ready!!!
