Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Fish anyone??
As everyone knows I had a fish dream the other night. If you didn't hear me say it i'll explain it now, in the dream I was riding a carousel or something like it and I was just going round and round and there was a pond and it had the prettiest fish in it, bright blue and orange fish going round the pond in a circle. There were other animals near too like ducks also. When I woke up I gasped for air I cannot believe this shit. I'm not too worried that its me. I hope whoever it is is happy. I thought I was done with the fish dreaming stuff for a while until....
My grandma told me today she dreamt of fish night before last. OMG!!!! when an elder has a fish dream its for sure someone in the fam is preggo. I know its not me so i'm not too worried. I get off the phone with her I walk through the house to the kitchen and as I walk past the t.v. whats on? Animal planet about frickin 'FISH' I flew in the kitchen and even shook my head a little. So when ma came home I was sitting on her bed talking to her and we all into a convo and kami cooing and I turn and look at the t.v. (tears now)
A damn commercial about ordering some pet fish. I just screamed "If I see another Damn fish!!!
Its not that i'm unsure about myself it's just the ladies last night thought it was funny to pick me since My Kami is so advanced, hey look at her mama of course she's smart, but noooooo they think she's just moving out the way to be a big sister. So once I left the party last night, drunk and all I went to walgreens and got a preggo test and for those hens I picture messaged them NEGATIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So now I can really lay back with my hands clasped behind my head with my feet crossed and wait to see who's bringing the new addition in this time.
I just thank the heavens above ITS NOT ME. LMAO
My grandma told me today she dreamt of fish night before last. OMG!!!! when an elder has a fish dream its for sure someone in the fam is preggo. I know its not me so i'm not too worried. I get off the phone with her I walk through the house to the kitchen and as I walk past the t.v. whats on? Animal planet about frickin 'FISH' I flew in the kitchen and even shook my head a little. So when ma came home I was sitting on her bed talking to her and we all into a convo and kami cooing and I turn and look at the t.v. (tears now)
A damn commercial about ordering some pet fish. I just screamed "If I see another Damn fish!!!
Its not that i'm unsure about myself it's just the ladies last night thought it was funny to pick me since My Kami is so advanced, hey look at her mama of course she's smart, but noooooo they think she's just moving out the way to be a big sister. So once I left the party last night, drunk and all I went to walgreens and got a preggo test and for those hens I picture messaged them NEGATIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So now I can really lay back with my hands clasped behind my head with my feet crossed and wait to see who's bringing the new addition in this time.
I just thank the heavens above ITS NOT ME. LMAO
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Better Day
Today will be a better day. I'm claiming it!!!
Yesterday was just terrible. Of course I have to vent. Woke up with a slight headache, baby woke up a few times during the night wheezing from this cold she has, I get ready for work, I have ten bags to carry out along with the car seat and have to fish for the car keys while walking in the middle of the street like a hobo because the sidewalk is icy. Get to my car................ one of Maywood's finest keeps messing with me and gave me a ticket for the second night in a row. So now my headache is stronger and i'm slightly pissed. Look at the clock I have like 20 minutes before I have to clock in.
Shit It ain't happening, so I call to tell the boss i'll be 30 minutes late. Fine. Go to target to ease my mind, buy a couple cd's (yeah I know I should've been halling ass to make it to work, but I needed to feel better) I bought Kandi Koated by Kandi from escape and she has this song on there called 'haven't loved right since you've been gone' and oh my God I cried the whole way driving to I don't know, cause I knew I wouldn't make it to work.
Anyway called the other half so now he's gonna come and save the day. I get home take all ten bags back inside, look back at my car and one of my gotdamn hub caps is missing so i've been riding around with an ugly car all morning, my headache got stronger. I didn't do much after I came back inside the house, I had to just chill the rest of the day because it felt like the devil was out to get me or something.
I was for sure the day was better that late evening so we all went to Buffalo wild wings to celebrate Toya's birthday. Until I had to go to the ladies room, I go in the stall and it looked like there was no toilet tissue so i'm bent down looking and pulling the tissue out and the whole damn thing clunks me in the head. GotDamn!
Today will be better it has to be
Yesterday was just terrible. Of course I have to vent. Woke up with a slight headache, baby woke up a few times during the night wheezing from this cold she has, I get ready for work, I have ten bags to carry out along with the car seat and have to fish for the car keys while walking in the middle of the street like a hobo because the sidewalk is icy. Get to my car................ one of Maywood's finest keeps messing with me and gave me a ticket for the second night in a row. So now my headache is stronger and i'm slightly pissed. Look at the clock I have like 20 minutes before I have to clock in.
Shit It ain't happening, so I call to tell the boss i'll be 30 minutes late. Fine. Go to target to ease my mind, buy a couple cd's (yeah I know I should've been halling ass to make it to work, but I needed to feel better) I bought Kandi Koated by Kandi from escape and she has this song on there called 'haven't loved right since you've been gone' and oh my God I cried the whole way driving to I don't know, cause I knew I wouldn't make it to work.
Anyway called the other half so now he's gonna come and save the day. I get home take all ten bags back inside, look back at my car and one of my gotdamn hub caps is missing so i've been riding around with an ugly car all morning, my headache got stronger. I didn't do much after I came back inside the house, I had to just chill the rest of the day because it felt like the devil was out to get me or something.
I was for sure the day was better that late evening so we all went to Buffalo wild wings to celebrate Toya's birthday. Until I had to go to the ladies room, I go in the stall and it looked like there was no toilet tissue so i'm bent down looking and pulling the tissue out and the whole damn thing clunks me in the head. GotDamn!
Today will be better it has to be
Sunday, February 13, 2011
It'll be ok
As I was thinking, lately it seems people in my circle have had it really bad lately and have had to make some very difficult decisions. All I can say is life is full of tests, we make decisions based on our present situations, we make decisions that others might not make and maybe decisions they would make if they were in our shoes. Don't give up. I heard somebody very close to me yesterday say she is contiplating committing suicide. My heart dropped, It dropped because I can't imagine life without her and it also hurt so bad because I can't do anything to ease her pain. I hopefully convinced her it wasn't worth it, tomorrow is always a new day with new opportunities. Killing yourself is not worth it. I felt that way many times, but after I cried it out and the sun comes back up to allow a new day, everything feels slightly better. I just want to remind you all that life is hard but its manageable, don't give up. If you have to get counseling, scream, burn things, or take a prescribed medicine, DO IT!
Remember we make decisions based on our own lives not someone elses
Remember we make decisions based on our own lives not someone elses
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Not Enough
I think it takes a strong woman to tell a man he is not enough for her. It can seem like a selfish statement, until you think about it. I think it takes a passive pushover woman to stay with a man that she knows is not enough for her. If he can't take the trash out when it starts to fill up without her asking, he is not enough. If the baby is wet and she's doing the dishes and you call her to change the baby, baby you're not enough for me. If her car is buried underneath 5 feet of snow and she's outside digging her own car out, fool you definately ain't enough. I know being in a relationship is not all about what the other person can do for you, but as your woman I feel I should be one of your top priorities if not thee top one. Being in love is when the well being of another is as important to you as your own.
As women we all want the same thing; Love, Respect and Attention. Of course their are other things but those are the main ones. If that man is not enough for us, throw his ass back in the water and keep fishing. Do it early, be real with yourself and him before too much time and energy is wasted. We want a man we can love and one that loves us back. We want a man to run to when the world is chasing us and a shoulder to cry on when we've had bad day, a partner to share life with, someone to have kids with, watch them grow, and laugh at.
And contray to popular belief before you get in too deep you can already tell if he's what you want. I for damn sure don't want to spend my life alone, lonely or miserable. And I won't. I will be in a happy loving relationship one where the love will show bright and without question. I'll sick around this lake for a little while longer to see how fast my fish will mature, but i'm telling you baby, it's always fishing season.
As women we all want the same thing; Love, Respect and Attention. Of course their are other things but those are the main ones. If that man is not enough for us, throw his ass back in the water and keep fishing. Do it early, be real with yourself and him before too much time and energy is wasted. We want a man we can love and one that loves us back. We want a man to run to when the world is chasing us and a shoulder to cry on when we've had bad day, a partner to share life with, someone to have kids with, watch them grow, and laugh at.
And contray to popular belief before you get in too deep you can already tell if he's what you want. I for damn sure don't want to spend my life alone, lonely or miserable. And I won't. I will be in a happy loving relationship one where the love will show bright and without question. I'll sick around this lake for a little while longer to see how fast my fish will mature, but i'm telling you baby, it's always fishing season.
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